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05 July 2008 @ 03:32 am
[meme] Since I can't sleep  
Rules of the Game:

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. How has LJ changed your life?
It hasn't.  My life is largely the same as it's always been, which, needless to say is a rather depressing realization.

2. What do you do before bedtime?
I really liked Duo's answer, but I don't do that so . . . Get the coffee pot ready for the next morning, set the alarm clock and set out clothes to wear.  Usually I call Carlton before going to bed.  Or if I just go to bed after a long shift, I just fall into bed.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Considering my chances of getting marries, I am gonna have to say that I really don't think about such things.  Though, truth be told I always thought a nice little ceremony in Central park would be nice.  Ugh, I feel stupid just for typing that.

4. What is the city of your dreams and why?
New York has always been the city of my dreams, but lately I am getting tired of it.  I don't know where I would go.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Fucked if I know.  The swirly cone of both?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I don't know.  And yes, this is me being cynical.

7. Do you trust easily?
Any cop who trust easily is asking for it.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I don't go for attached people.  Ever.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
I think a better question is what has made me HAPPY these days.  It's a much shorter list, and yes I am being nasty and crabby but it's fucking late and really now, do you want me to sit here and list all the shitty things that has gone wrong this month?  Yeah, didn't think so.

10. What is your best quality?
I don't stop.  Despite everything, I am still here.

11. Is being tagged fun?
gives me something to do when I can't sleep.

12. How do you see yourself?
Good Lord.  A whole lotta things that aren't very nice right now.  So I'll just go with:  Fighter, someone who could be someone better.

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Carlton, Elliot, Munch and Fin, of course the Captain.  My brother, always my brother.  Ah, also the man at the coffee shot that puts the extra shot of espresso in my macchiato for free.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Duo is the violent free spirit I long to be.  No, seriously anyone who would fix my AC for free is a great person.  Plus he's sweet and despite all my attempts to scare him off with my growling, he puts up with my sorry ass.

15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
I've been poor, don't want to be it again, and considering my chances of getting married?  I'll go with the money, which now cements my coffin as being a completely non-romantic person.  Sometimes, because Carlton brings it out in me, dammit.

16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
I've always wanted children, really I do.  But last time I tried to adopt I was denied, and I doubt things will change.  Maybe, one day if I have one, I will consider myself blessed. 

17. What's better to give or to receive?
I give, but it I don't know how good it is.

18. Is the glass half full or half empty?

19. Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10,000,000?
You know what, I am going to go with yes, just because. 

20. What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender?
God, I can only imagine.  Bastard would probably be it.   Mmm George?  I have no clue.

I'm not tagging, you see it, you wanna do it, go for it.
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: QoSA - No one Knows
Detective Carlton Lassiter: sexydet_lassiter on July 5th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
When you say "a nice little ceremony in Central park", what do you see?

You've tried to adopt before?
Detective Olivia Benson: coffee cup stoopdetoliviasvu on July 5th, 2008 04:38 pm (UTC)
Well, it's fall and it's in the conservatory garden, a nice little place. Not anything big or fancy, just close friends and family. I don't have a lot of either.

Yeah it was awhile ago, but I'm a civil servant with no real extended family and insane hours, so they turned me down. I don't blame them, it still - hurt a little.

. . . Have you ever thought about having children?
Detective Carlton Lassiter: babydet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 07:12 am (UTC)
That sounds very nice, the leaves on the trees would complement your hair. No, I wouldn't have many people on my guest list either.

What made you want to try?

.... Sometimes. It was one of the sticking points between my ex-wife and myself. She was certain I didn't want any, and she was wrong.
Detective Olivia Benson: Babydetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 07:24 am (UTC)
Really, you think so? I mean, I never really thought about it, didn't think I would ever get married. Have you thought about getting married?

I've always wanted a baby, to have some real family. I love children, but every day, all I see are unhappy, hurt babies. I want to make one happy.

Why did she think that you didn't want any children?
Detective Carlton Lassiter: sexydet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 07:34 am (UTC)
I do, yes. I can see you very clearly in my mind's eye. It's not been something I've wanted to think about, for obvious reasons, until very recently.

I think that you would make a wonderful mother. Is adoption the only method you would consider, or... *flushes*

She mistook waiting for the right time for an excuse to never have any.
Detective Olivia Benson: Dreamingdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 07:39 am (UTC)
As long as you can see it, I might ask you to fill in some details since mine are kind of blurry. I know, what you went through, and I didn't think you would . . . be interested, I guess.

Thank you, that really does mean a lot to me, for you to say that. No, I would like to have a child naturally, but when I tried to adopt I wasn't with anyone I wanted to have children with.

That's insane, I can't stand her, I've never even met her but I really don't like her.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: all that jazzdet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 07:47 am (UTC)
I don't know, is it bad luck for the bride to be able to see the dress that the groom sees her in? You look beautiful, though. I didn't really expect that I would be, but love changes things.

.... How about now?

I don't think you're supposed to like her. It was one small part of a much bigger problem, really.
Detective Olivia Benson: leaning red sweaterdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 07:51 am (UTC)
Well I think the groom could have creative input on the type of dress. Love, does it really, Carlton?

Now I am with someone that I can see having children with.

What was the much bigger problem?
Detective Carlton Lassiter: smiledet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 08:06 am (UTC)
A cream dress, simple line, with a flared skirt and small train because every woman should feel like a princess when she walks down the aisle. A bolaro jacket to keep you warm. Simple but elegant... Is that a little too clear an image? It really does, Olivia.

You can?

We were no longer lovestruck teenagers. We'd grown into different people, who didn't really like each other that much any more. Everything else was just reasons.
Detective Olivia Benson: Embarrassed blue sweaterdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 08:11 am (UTC)
No, that is a perfect image, now what would the groom wear? A tuxedo, or a nice suit, something that brings out his blue eyes. What are you saying?

Yes, very much so.

Growing apart is always hard, it's like you want to keep them close because they are the person you are comfortable with, but just need to let go.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: surpriseddet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 08:25 am (UTC)
I wear suits everyday for work, so something a bit more special, like a tux.

I'm saying that I love you, Olivia.


Letting go is hard, It took me a while but I...... You can see yourself having children with me?
Detective Olivia Benson: hands brown leather jacketdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 08:31 am (UTC)
I think you would look wonderful in a tux, and your boutonnière will match the flowers in . . .

I love you, Carlton . . . I think that feels good to say.

It does take awhile, it always does. Yes, I see myself going to sleep next to you every night and waking up with you there. I would be very happy to have your children.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: awkwarddet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 08:37 am (UTC)
... In your bouquet?

I'm glad you think so.

Are you particularly grounded in New York? Do you have ties there?
Detective Olivia Benson: Look down worrieddetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 08:40 am (UTC)
In my hair. *Smiled gently.*

I was scared to say it, I was scared you wouldn't feel the same way.

Just my work, Simon, but he would understand.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: sadfacedet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 08:43 am (UTC)
*smiles back*

It is a scary thing to say. I wish you were here, I wish I could see your face as you hear me say it.

Would you consider moving across the country, to live with me?
Detective Olivia Benson: Over the shoulderdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 08:47 am (UTC)
When I see you in Memphis that's the first thing I will say to you. Right when I meet you at the airport or the hotel, I want to hear you say it so I know this isn't some sort of dream.

God, that, that is so big. Y-yes, I think I am, but I need to do some serious thinking about it. I hope you understand.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: okdet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 08:53 am (UTC)
You'll hear me say it to you so many times while we're together, I'll make sure of it.

Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less.
Detective Olivia Benson: Angeldetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 08:55 am (UTC)
It's been a really long time since I heard it and believed it. I want that from you. I want to tell you everything.

Even though I've thought about it before, this is still unexpected.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: lostdet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)
And I want to know everything about you. I want to be there for you, when you need me and when you don't.

I think I've surprised myself a little. But I mean it. Take all the time you need.
Detective Olivia Benson: Carlton and Livdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
I think this is where the music swells and you pull me into a romantic embrace. Why do you have to say just the right things and be so far away?

Thank you, that means a lot.
Detective Carlton Lassiter: oliviadet_lassiter on July 6th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
I'm trying to improve on that. Though I can't promise you that I'll be so good at saying the right things when I'm closer.
Detective Olivia Benson: big grin long hairdetoliviasvu on July 7th, 2008 02:29 am (UTC)
It doesn't matter, we all say the wrong things at the wrong time. You just have to make sure to try and make it better.
agentmaxwell on July 5th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
2. *chuckles* Yah need to make somethin' 'bout that, then.

7. *nods* Our secreatries from the administrative buildin' call the agents "paranoid". Guess they'll never understand.

9. *takes a step back* Rules said yah oculd change some questions, yah know...

10. Nice way of sayin' "stuborn". I think I'm gonna steal it.

13. *laughs when he reads "Carlton"* So Lassie is yar misterious boyfriend! Yah and Howly make a cute couple. *winks*

14. *real smile* Thanks, Liv, I appreciate that. Growlin'? I don't remember any growlin' (apart from today's #9). I tend to scape from women in "those days" when they're really bitchy...
Detective Olivia Benson: black leather bootsdetoliviasvu on July 5th, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
2. Boyfriend is in another state, maybe one day I'll will happen.

7. No, they won't, they don't put their lives on the line every day.

9. Yes, but that would take effort. *Laughs*

10. By all means.

13. You didn't know I was seeing him? Sorry, I tend to keep my private life, well, private. I am glad you think so.

14. Any time, Duo. When I am PMSing I promise to put out a sign so you don't get caught in the cross fire.
agentmaxwell on July 6th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
9. Very good point. *smirks*

13. 'Course I do. Just don't tell'im I said that. Teasin'im is more fun.

14. See? Yar an angel. Most women just scowl at em when I mention those days. *shakes his head*
Detective Olivia Benson: Is that so? bushesdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 12:09 am (UTC)
9. I'm off, that means I don't expend effort.

13. Do you tease poor Carlton, do I need to put my foot down? *smirk*

14. Oh no I am fully aware that I am a bitch. I try to hold back though.
agentmaxwell on July 6th, 2008 12:20 am (UTC)
13. But Mooooom, he's funny when he's frustrated!

14. I'd love to see yah interrogatin' suspects durin' those days. *chuckles*
Detective Olivia Benson: Laughdetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 12:24 am (UTC)
13. Only *I* get to frustrate him, I like him when he's all worked up.

14. *Laughs* Really, you want to watch me nearly smack perps around?
agentmaxwell on July 6th, 2008 12:38 am (UTC)
13. Good friends know how to share, Liv. Oh, worked up guys are wonderful. He got used to "Lassie" and Howly" though, so I have to come up with some new nicknames...

14. Yah kiddin'? It'd be hilarous. Those bastards get even more thwarted when it's a woman the one kickin' their asses.
Detective Olivia Benson: Armeddetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 12:41 am (UTC)
13. Sorry, I am not sharing Carlton, you won't share Heero. Geez, why are you trying to give him such a hard time? *Laughs*

14. Ah yes, I love it when I get to put some big macho man in his place. If they cry or start screaming that's even better.
agentmaxwell on July 6th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
13. Who says I don't? As long as yah keep yar hands off 'im yah can tease'im all yah want. I know how fun that can be, he's my favorite target.
It's not hard time per se... just... tryin' to make 'im losen up a lil'? *best inocent face*

14. Yah tell'em girl! Every time one calls me "kiddo" they regret it.
Detective Olivia Benson: Grin all dolled updetoliviasvu on July 6th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
13. Heh, you are adorable, truly. But I like uptight Carlton, kind of, of course he's not really uptight around me. Maybe you just aren't using the right touch.

14. Who calls you kiddo? I'm lad I didn't..
agentmaxwell on July 6th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
13. My touch is quite alright, thank yah. The world just needs to get used to it.

14. Tha occasional idiot who thinks I cannot kick their asses 'cause of my age.